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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Captain's Log's LiveJournal:

    [ << Previous 20 ]
    Thursday, January 31st, 2008
    4:45 am
    Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007
    7:30 pm
    Pickup lines I like (there are some for girls in here too)
    "hey baby, if i take you out, i'll treat you like vegas. give you all my money and end up getting fucked at the end of the night"
    ________________
    "i'll treat you like a wishbone, i'll break you in half"
    __________________
    Guy: "Hey, I like your necklace."
    Girl,with my ass sticking out: "How does my ass look in this necklace?"
    ___________________________
    After girl uses a line on you "you're an attractive female. You can walk up to a guy and tell him you just wet-farted in your jeans and you aren't wearing any underwear and it would still pick me up"
    _________________
    Guy: "Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street..."
    __________________________
    walks up to a girl and go: "Hi, I think you dropped you name tag," and hand her a packet of sugar.
    ___________________________
    Guy: "Hey, I can't find my little sister. Can you help me out?"
    Her: "Sure."
    Guy: "Alright, when the cops show up, I was with you the WHOLE time."
    __________________
    Guy: "Hey, if I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?"
    ________________________
    Generally in response to some 'are you hitting on me/do you think I'm attractive/how do you like my (anything)' question:

    "Are you kidding me? If we were on the playground right now, I would be throwing sand at you and pulling your hair."
    _________________
    Guy: "Damn girl, if you were my sister, our kids would be retarded"
    _______________________
    Guy: "Hey, did you just say you didn't want to have sex with me?"
    Girl: "What...? No..."
    Guy: "Well, let's get going, then, I have to be home by 3."
    ______________
    Trailer Park Pickup: "I like your tooth..."
    __________________
    Guy: "You have really nice elbows...you're so getting dicked tonight."
    __________________
    Guy: "Question... If you woke up and i was inside you, would you scream?"
    Monday, September 24th, 2007
    8:31 pm
    New to the collection

    these:



    And these bad boys:

    Thursday, September 6th, 2007
    7:13 pm
    A genome is:
    Correct A. the full set of genes for a particular organism
    B. a molcule of DNA
    C. the basic unit of heredity
    D. the manufacturer of protein.
    Answer Key: A

    Question 2 of 50 Score: 0 (max 1)

    Human development begins when a sperm penetrates the membrane of:
    A. An ovum
    Incorrect B. the ovary
    C. the placenta
    D. an amino acid
    Answer Key: A

    Question 3 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    When two human reproductive cells combine at the moment of conception, the result is a:
    A. fetus
    B. pair of twins
    Correct C. zygote
    D. gamete
    Answer Key: C
    Feedback: When two human reproductive cells combine at the moment of conception, the result is a:

    Question 4 of 50 Score: 0 (max 1)

    The first hours and days of human development involve the processes of:
    A. duplication, division, and differentiation.
    Incorrect B. duplication, specialization, and progression.
    C. division, multiplication, and specialization.
    D. differentiation, division, and centralization.
    Answer Key: A

    Question 5 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)
    The values, assumptions, customs, clothing, technologies, and art that a group of people have developed over the years as a design for living are referred to as their:
    Correct A. Culture
    B. cohort
    C. ethnicity
    D. environment
    Answer Key: A

    Question 6 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Matthew grew up in a small apartment with his five siblings and his drug-addicted mother. Three of his siblings are in jail; the other is deceased. Matthew is now a geologist with a loving wife and children. Given his beginnings, how might his success be explained?
    A. Matthew was genetically different from his siblings.
    Correct B. Matthew was a resilient child.
    C. Statistically, one child in the family should meet success.
    D. Matthew was the most intelligent child in the family.
    Answer Key: B

    Question 7 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    If students complain that this exam does not really measure their understanding of Chapter One, they are complaining about the exam's:
    A. statistical significance.
    Correct B. validity
    C. generalizsability.
    D. accuracy.
    Answer Key: B

    Question 8 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Watching and recording others' behaviors in a systematic and objective manner is referred to as:
    Correct A. scientific observation.
    B. correlational design.
    C. cross-sectional research.
    D. a laboratory experiement.
    Answer Key: A

    Question 9 of 50 Score: 0 (max 1)

    Scientific observation would probably be the best choice for a researcher interested in:
    Incorrect A. beliefs of parents about the drinking behavior of their children,
    B. adolescents' risky sexual behavior.
    C. obtaining extensive information about a single adolescent's nutritional behavior.
    D. the frequency of bullying during school recess periods.
    Answer Key: D

    Question 10 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    ndura (1973) was interested in whether watching violence affected children's behaviors. To examine this, he showed a violent film to one group of preschoolers and a nonviolent film to a second group of preschoolers. Following the films, the behaviors of the two groups were compared. This study was:
    A. a naturalistic observation.
    Correct B. an experiment.
    C. a case study.
    D. longitudianl research.
    Answer Key: B

    Question 11 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    To study how members of a particular group change or remain the same as they grow older, the best method is:
    A. cross-sesctional research.
    B. a survey at the end of the time period.
    Correct C. lognitudinal research.
    D. establishing an experimental group and a control group.
    Answer Key: C

    Question 12 of 50 Score: 0 (max 1)

    The ecological-systems approach to the study of human development maintains that in order to understand an individual's development, one needs to examine the:
    A. historical context.
    B. individual's family.
    C. schools and community.
    Incorrect D. interplay between the individual, the family, schools and community and historical context.
    Answer Key: A

    Question 13 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Researchers obtain informed consent of individuals participating in their studies to ensure the participants understand that:
    Correct A. participation is voluntary, cofidential and harless for all.
    B. they will be paid for their participation.
    C. researchers are not liable for unanticipated outcomes.
    D. their names will be published in the final research report.
    Answer Key: A

    Question 14 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    In seeking participants for a research studies, researchers must explain the purposes and procedures of the study in advance, obtain written permission, and allow participants to stop at any time. This process is known as:
    A. holding harmless.
    Correct B. informed consent.
    C. release of liability.
    D. rite of research.
    Answer Key: B

    Question 15 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    The set of moral principles used by each academic discipline and professional society to protect the integrity of research is referred to as their:
    A. policies and procedures.
    B. participant rules.
    Correct C. code of ethics.
    D. conditions of liabiltiy.
    Answer Key: C

    Question 16 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    A behavior by a researcher that would be considered unethical is:
    A. halting the study if harm is suspected.
    Correct B. changing the data to support the hypothesis.
    C. obtaining informed consent.
    D. maintaining confidentiality.
    Answer Key: B

    Question 17 of 50 Score: 0 (max 1)

    Researchers have an ethical obligation to:
    A. choosde topics of study that may be researched quickly.
    B. choose topics of study that may be researched inexpensively.
    C. choose topics of study that are of major importance to society.
    Incorrect D. choose topicvs of study that are politically correct.
    Answer Key: C

    Question 18 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    The central task of developmentalists is to identify and describe the universality and uniqueness in humans.
    Correct true
    false
    Answer Key: true

    Question 19 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Temperament is an example of a continuous characteristic.
    Correct true
    false
    Answer Key: true

    Question 20 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Personality traits observed in infancy may be quite recognizable in adulthood.
    Correct true
    false
    Answer Key: true
    Question 21 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    More adults than children live in low-income households in almost every nation of the world.
    true
    Correct false
    Answer Key: false

    Question 22 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    The socioeconomic status of a family primarily reflects only the household income.
    true
    Correct false
    Answer Key: false

    Question 23 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Developmentalists often draw on other disciplines such as biology and sociology to gain insight into human development.
    Correct true
    false
    Answer Key: true

    Question 24 of 50 Score: 0 (max 1)

    Quality of parenting is the primary predictor of a resilient child.
    Incorrect true
    false
    Answer Key: false
    Question 25 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Researchers have an ethical responsibility to study topics that will help people.
    Correct true
    false
    Answer Key: true

    Question 26 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    A systematic set of principles and generalizations that provides a framework for understanding and examining how and why people change as they get older is referred to as a(n):
    A. hypothesis.
    Correct B. developmental theory
    C. operational definition.
    D. paradigm
    Answer Key: B

    Question 27 of 50 Score: 0 (max 1)

    A purpose of a developmental theory is:
    A. to provide solutions to most major developmental problems.
    B. to offer insight into practical guidance to parents,teachers and therapists.
    Incorrect C. to determine the direction of behaior.
    D. to dictate how to rear children.
    Answer Key: B

    Question 28 of 50 Score: 0 (max 1)

    Some theories are called grand theories because they:
    Incorrect A. are consistently accurate.
    B. offer the only important insights regarding development.
    C. provide a framework for understanding the development of all people.
    D. are considered to be the new theories of the future.
    Answer Key: C

    Question 29 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    According to psychoanalytic theories, human development is mainly determined by:
    A. the choices we make for ourselves.
    B. the environment in which we are raised.
    Correct C. our unconsdcviousd motives and drives.
    D. the way we think about and understand the world.
    Answer Key: C

    Question 30 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Danielle sucks her thumb because she finds it very pleasurable. She is also becoming emotionally attached to her daddy, Andy, who feeds her. According to Freud, Danielle is most likely in:
    A. the anal stage.
    Correct B. the oral stage.
    C. latency.
    D. the phallic stage.
    Answer Key: B

    Question 31 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    In Erik Erikson's theory:
    A. there are six stages.
    Correct B. developmental challenges continue throughout adulthood.
    C. the first stage is called the oral stage.
    D. autonomy ocvcurs when young adults leave home.
    Answer Key: B

    Question 32 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    According to Erikson, an infant experiences:
    A. industry vs. inferiority
    Correct B. trust vs. mistrust.
    C. autonomy vs. shame and doubt.
    D. independence vs. dependence.
    Answer Key: B

    Question 33 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    A 9-year-old girl learning to be competent at school would be in Erikson's psychosocial stage of:
    Correct A. industry vs. inferiority.
    B. identity vs. role confusion.
    C. autonomy vs. shame and doubt.
    D. integrity vs. despair.
    Answer Key: A

    Question 34 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Behaviorism focuses on which of the following?
    Correct A. actions
    B. unconscious urges.
    C. thoughts.
    D. emotions.
    Answer Key: A

    Question 35 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Diana, a toddler, is throwing a temper tantrum. Behaviorists would say Diana is doing this because she:
    A. is a toddler, and toddlers are learning how to control their evnironment.
    B. believes this will get her parents to give her what she wants.
    C. is egocentric and cannot think about how other people will be upset by her behavior.
    Correct D. has gradually learned that this type of behavior gets rewarded.
    Answer Key: D

    Question 36 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Social learning theory emphasizes learning through:
    A. cooperation with others.
    Correct B. observation and imitation.
    C. reinforcers.
    D. understanding how one's behavior affects other people.
    Answer Key: B

    Question 37 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Cognitive theories emphasize the:
    Correct A. development of thought processes and thier effect on behavior.
    B. role of unconsdcious urges and impulses.
    C. control that external forces have over the direction of human development.
    D. crisis that each individual must resolve at each stage of life.
    Answer Key: A

    Question 38 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Piaget's theory of development focused primarily on:
    Correct A. how our thinking changes as we grow older.
    B. biological and physical changes.
    C. our unconscious issues.
    D. the ways in which our environment influences us.
    Answer Key: A

    Question 39 of 50 Score: 0 (max 1)

    According to Piaget, cognitive growth is promoted by a need for:
    Incorrect A. assimilation
    B. models.
    C. reinforcement.
    D. equilibrium.
    Answer Key: D

    Question 40 of 50 Score: 0 (max 1)

    When we adjust our old ways of thinking in order to fit in new information, Piaget calls this process:
    A. synchrony.
    Incorrect B. assimilation
    C. accommodation
    D. equilibration.
    Answer Key: C

    Question 41 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Gina wants a glass of milk but all of the glassware is in the sink waiting to be washed. She finds a clean empty fruit jar and pours milk into it. Gina solved her problem by using the process of accommodation.
    Correct true
    false
    Answer Key: true

    Question 42 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    A major pioneer of the sociocultural perspective was Lev Vygotsky.
    Correct true
    false
    Answer Key: true

    Question 43 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    According to sociocultural theory, the process of learning continues throughout life, with adults learning from individuals of all ages.
    Correct true
    false
    Answer Key: true

    Question 44 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    From a sociocultural perspective, what people need to learn and how they learn is the same for everyone.
    true
    Correct false
    Answer Key: false

    Question 45 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Preformism refers to the belief that every aspect of development is set in advance by genes.
    Correct true
    false
    Answer Key: true

    Question 46 of 50 Score: 0 (max 1)

    According to sociocultural theory, individuals very often learn skills on their own, through a process of trial and error.
    Incorrect true
    false
    Answer Key: false

    Question 47 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Ethology is particularly interested in the instinctive behaviors of infants and their caregivers.
    Correct true
    false
    Answer Key: true

    Question 48 of 50 Score: 0 (max 1)

    Most developmentalists today are strongly committed to one of the theories described in this chapter.
    Incorrect true
    false
    Answer Key: false

    Question 49 of 50 Score: 0 (max 1)

    Nature refers to those traits that are evident at birth, whereas nurture refers to all traits that emerge after birth.
    Incorrect true
    false
    Answer Key: false

    Question 50 of 50 Score: 1 (max 1)

    Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder is one of the very few conditions that are caused exclusively by nature.
    true
    Correct false
    Answer Key: false
    Sunday, July 15th, 2007
    5:19 am
    I always thought that if I just gave it time creativity would flow, eventually. I was definitely wrong.

    It's like I've hit a plateau way back the fuck when, and now I'm starting to reach the other side and I'm decending ever so gradually. It makes me feel pathetic.

    Im sick of needing a muse, I need to learn to manifest my own inspiration.
    Monday, June 25th, 2007
    2:41 pm
    Thursday, June 21st, 2007
    2:19 am
    Hello Vagrant Records. How are you doing today?
    Wednesday, March 14th, 2007
    6:05 pm
    Pistol.
    I love how you curse when I wake you up
    And sweetly demand that I fill your cup.
    I follow your cool gun powder glare
    Honey, you lay me bare.

    You're the girl of my dreams
    And a pistol it seems, but you shoot me straight and true
    Time to lay down my bets,
    Oh, I put all my money on you.

    When I'm in the dark, girl, you bring me to light.
    It seems like you're almost always right.
    So keep boxing my ears when I sew them shut.
    Baby, you sure are tough.

    You're the girl of my dreams
    And a pistol it seems, but you shoot me straight and true
    Time to lay down my fears,
    Honey, I feel so safe around you.

    If the tiller man taught me anything,
    It's that a hard-headed woman is what I need
    To help me to always do my best.
    Baby, my life is blessed.

    You're the girl of my dreams
    Darling, please wear this ring
    You're an angel through and through.
    Time to lay down my life,
    Honey, I'd do it gladly for you.

    Time to lay down my life,
    Honey, I'd do it gladly for you
    Sunday, March 4th, 2007
    11:30 pm
    My argument with the lead singer from simple plan
    I dont have the first part of the conversation, but basically i was giving him advice on how to not suck as an artist

    Pierre whatever his name is: Why the hell are we talking about it anyways????? do you think i come to this audi forum to discuss my band publicly??no. I come here to talk about my car and maybe chicks once in while.

    I can appreciate your opinion when it comes to music but no offence,ive sold over 6 milion records worldwide and i just got back from brasil where i played for 15 000 people in sao paulo. Just because YOU think i should be doing something different doenst mean you're right.

    if i wanted to discuss about my band id go on a music forum.

    thats all man.


    Mishka Bier: well no shit, but its funny how when most of the people praise your shit you have no problem with discussing it. but as soon as some people start telling you how whack that shit is, you get all defencive and decided its not time for "music talk."

    Im just telling you as a buisness man i respect you, as an artist, you're worth shit. You asked if anyone had a problem with you to PM you, thats what i did. you asked for it. So no need to get all bitchy.

    oh btw, nice car.

    Pierre whats his name: well obviously if someone is giving me a compliment im not gonna be rude and tell them to shut up or anything...but the bottom line is i am NOT here to discuss my band. Like i said before, i couldnt care less if you hate my band. if it makes you feel better to vent out and tell me i suck then go right ahead.... by all means be my guest.

    but if were gonna be all flat out and honest here, have you ever actually listened to one of my records all the way through? have you ever seen me play a show?? im guessing that no.... therefore for being someone who judges a book by its cover i think YOU are not worth shit.

    so go fuck yourself.

    have a good night.

    Mishka: Yeah, i have listened to your record all the way through. I still think the music is elementary.

    Also if you were humble about your 'fame' or whatever it is, you wouldnt have posted a picture of yourself when you first signed up here.

    And way to be mature and tell me to go fuck myself. I was giving you advice on how to not be a fucking tool of the music idustry, yet you yern to still be a tone deaf son of a bitch that will hit maybe three different notes throughout an entire song.

    Grow the fuck up, and take some constructive criticism from a more matured musician than yourself.

    pierre:you call this constructive criticism ??? dude seriously.... you write this "as an artist, you're worth shit"

    you started this whole immature fight of words.... if YOU were the bigger man you could of said, "i respect you as a business man but i dont like your music...." so really, dont give me that crap.

    you honestly think im gonna sit there while you say that im not worth shit??? you're funny.

    sorry man really, i just cant have any respect for someone like you. And if you feel the same way about me then fine. im totally cool with that.

    was nice talking to ya.

    oh and by the way.... when i posted that pic a while back, i trully didnt even think anyone on here would recognize me. of course you'll say its bullshit but honestly i didnt. I was just really stoked and excited about my apr3 and i thought the pic was funny.

    Mishka: Of course im gonna call bullshit, but you knew that already so i dont even need to really cover anything about that.

    and i dont believe i started the immature "fight of words," as you so eloquently put it. You talked down to me in your first reponse, so of course im not gonna sit there at take it.

    Like i said, you're probably a brilliant buisness man. And shit if i ever get the chance to sell out i probably will too. But the difference between you and I is that if i ever get the chance (which i probably wont), i'll look forward to growing as a musican and getting better. Not stay stranded in a position where most highschool garage bands are writing more complex tunes.

    If you continue to stay stagnent, you're going to be exactly what you were a fad in music, nothing more. No one is going to look back in 10 years and be like "dude you remember simple plan?! they were really good."

    I hate to bring in other bands but even falloutboy havve grown as musicans. i still dont think its amazing (its alright, i'll listen to it), but i respect them cause their first cd isnt the exact same cd as the last

    Pierre: thanks for the tip.

    Mishka: there you go, way to be mature and hopefully you'll take advice from someone that thinks you can have potential.

    I'll be sure to check out one of your shows.

    Oh and by the way you looking for a new guitarist? *rolls eyes*
    5:04 pm
    "Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on. " - Blow
    Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
    5:25 pm
    Monday, February 26th, 2007
    1:11 pm
    Same Mistakes
    I broke your heart with my broken heart
    I never wanted it to be this way
    Everything's a mess, how are you these days
    I wish that I could change

    You make the same mistakes you always made over and over
    You cant keep going on this way
    Slow down, slow down

    You should just forget that I exist, cause I'm not worth the pain.
    I'm not worth it, I'm not worth it
    Since you've gone, I've missed you everyday
    But I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do

    You make the same mistakes you always made over and over
    You cant keep going on this way
    Slow down, slow down

    Well maybe this is all for the best, but I can't say now
    Wake up with a pain in my chest every day
    Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
    7:25 pm
    One of the articles said that they were teenagers.

    It gives a new meaning to death do us part.

    Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

    Kind of beautiful in a morbid way.
    1:03 am
    Rewind
    Night comes like a stranger
    Its stranger still that you're not by my side
    Cause I can hear the echo of our voices bouncing off these walls
    And I feel like a ghost that haunts this house

    Its hard to say where i went wrong but...

    All that i want for you
    Is no more tears
    And no more reasons why you cry them dear
    I wish that i could rewind

    Wake up to an empty lie
    And all the wrong I've done thinking I was right
    but no one can stop me now, I've got no heart for them to occupy

    and i cant tell my up from down, but...

    All that I want for you
    Is no more tears
    And no more reasons why you cry them dear
    I wish that I could rewind

    All the words turn to ashes in my mouth
    And anything I could say is bullshit anyhow
    I know I dont deserve a heart like yours

    the only thing that i could say is...

    All that I want for you
    Is no more tears
    And no more reasons why you cry them dear
    I wish that i could rewind
    Saturday, February 17th, 2007
    2:33 pm
    Not all women are evil, just most of them.
    "I'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:

    I got a vasectomy.

    I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.

    I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.

    We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.

    Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for the baby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she's gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.

    At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't think beyond their own uteri.

    So I wait a couple of days to "think about all this." I meet her again. I say I don't want kids and that she should have an abortion. I know where this is going and sure enough it goes there. She goes completely batshit insane on me. There were the usual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.

    Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messages on my phone. She sends awful emails. I'm laughing hysterically.

    It was time to drop the hammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I get a notarized copy of the TWO test results indicating a "negative test result for sperm" to show I'm sterile and shooting blanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen the other documents and is prepared to litigate against this woman if she continues to communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insist on DNA testing to show that the baby is not mine. I'm ready.

    I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilities as a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket the documents I have prepared.

    She's all giddy again. Her plan is going perfectly - or so she thinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. "Are you sure that this baby is mine?"

    Well, she goes batshit insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh, she's really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I think she's a slut. I'm just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities... blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.

    I'm not really mad. I'm kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won't shut up and the neighbors can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.

    I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately.

    I tell her simply, "You're screwed".

    Her look doesn't change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared.

    I continue. "I am sterile"

    Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women's logic. "You're full of shit. You're trapped and you know it."

    I hold up the letter and the test results. "Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shooting blanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine."

    This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. "Bullshit, those are fakes."

    I was ready for that. "No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It's a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insist on a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine."

    I give the woman all the documents. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each passing second she can feel in her soul that she has made a very bad mistake. With denial swept away, she started to cry. It's a small cry at first. Then it becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the lawyer she is sobbing.

    I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing.

    Epilogue -

    I never heard directly from this woman again. I did hear through my friends that she did indeed have the baby. I also heard that the real father was some guy in a band she had met. I assumed that after 30, women stopped going after musicians, bikers, criminals, and thugs. Silly me for thinking the best of American women.

    The Moral of the Story -

    Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret. "



    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html
    Friday, February 9th, 2007
    8:39 pm
    i got into a bad car accident today. im gonna keep this short cause i cant type very well.

    lady hit me her fault.
    cars fucked.
    Broken humerus, nose, and 2 fingers.

    just released and on many drugs.


    happy valentines day
    Monday, February 5th, 2007
    3:28 am
    Words of wisdom:
    What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you love. That's what matters. That's the only thing that counts.


    People know the truth. They may not like it or want to know it, but they always know.
    Sunday, January 21st, 2007
    9:36 pm
    Amy died last night. Im not sure if im gonna go to the service yet. I'm really worried about kye and how shes going to take it. I've got a lot of shit on my mind and I pretty much dont know how to figure it out or express it right now.

    Miss you girl, it was nice knowing you.

    I was asked today, "if you could pack your bags and go anywhere, where would you go?"

    I thought about it and I'd like to go about 15 years into the future and see exactly how everything's turned out. Because right now I cant really picture it at all. Definitely not like this.


    10 days left.

    Current Mood: empty
    Monday, January 15th, 2007
    9:49 pm
    I may not be the best for the job, but doesn't me loving it count for anything?
    Monday, January 8th, 2007
    3:00 am
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